


Gone

by heartachequisition



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Gen, Souzou Forest, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 17:59:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1787989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartachequisition/pseuds/heartachequisition
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukihiko was a fool just as everyone had said. To think that the happy ending would exist for someone like him, someone who could no longer protect the one he loves...</p>
<p>He was a disappointment.</p>
<p>Not just to everyone in the village, not just to both Azami and Shion, but to himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone

“Azami…” Tsukihiko whispered quietly in disbelief, with his face in his hands. He hadn’t thought that something like this would happen – no, he had, he was a fool for leaving his family even then – but he had tried so hard even with the pain searing through his entire body and still burning on, he had run so hard. He had believed in something that was never to be in this cruel world.

Tsukihiko was a fool just as everyone had said. To think that the happy ending would exist for someone like him, someone who could no longer protect the one he loves....

He was a disappointment.

Not just to everyone in the village, not just to both Azami and Shion, but to himself.

All the years he had spent truly in love with the one they called a _monster._

All the love he had to give – all of himself he had to give – to that woman the world hated.

All the pain he had suffered because he loved her so, so much – even if Azami herself didn’t quite understand it.

All the pain he felt now, because she couldn’t believe in the _one person_ who told her she wasn’t a monster. That she was not what anyone said she was; that she was not what she herself believed she was.

It was less physical pain, of course, he could endure the beatings. He was used to the beatings. Not for the first time, but possibly the last, Tsukihiko felt as if his heart had been completely stolen from him and shattered.

Azami was gone.

The light patter of Shion’s footsteps were heard as she rushed towards her injured father, tears already threatening to spill from her eyes.

“Papa! You’re back!”

Rising into a sitting position, he held his arms out to catch his daughter who came barrelling towards him. His heart almost filled again, for a split second, to know that his little girl was still alive.

It wasn’t enough though; they could never be a family without Azami. Despair, so much despair.

“I’m… back, Shion.” It took everything he had not to choke, break down and bleed and die. What good was he as a father if he couldn’t even save his wife? He was useless, foolish, stupid, so very stupid.

Despite everything, and despite how much he despised himself now, he knew he had to be strong for Shion. She was all he had left in the end.

"Oh..." The little girl whimpered, examining her father’s wounded face and letting the tears fall in rapid succession. “What happened to you? Are you okay?”

He was never going to be. Not anymore.

Azami was gone.

“I’m fine… let’s get you back inside…”

As much as he wanted to scream and curse the world – to pull himself apart, to completely destroy everything – anything to get Azami back, anything to lure her out after he was so, so close; he didn’t.

“Let’s go, Shion.”

His daughter nodded, helping him up and leading him down the familiar path to their house. The place he had poured his utter dedication to Azami years before and the place she would never venture again.

What hurt the most he realised was that Azami had left by choice; punished herself by choice, for something entirely beyond her control. She was always like that, so ashamed of who she was no matter how many times he told her she was more beautiful that way. They were supposed to be happy.

He had promised he would make her happy.

He didn’t bring it up with Shion, though the girl must have seen everything. Her tears spoke for her, and he only wished he could rewind time. Again and again until they finally reached that happy ending.

It was too much, too much.

“Do you need anything, papa…?” Shion hadn’t stopped crying, but she held out a towel to her father once they were seated back in the house. “Here…”

He breathed deeply, praying he didn’t look a complete hopeless wreck like he felt to his daughter. “Thank you, but I’ll take care of it. Go to bed.”

Accepting the towel graciously, he began to tend to his wounds. His movements were slow, and reluctant. If he just bled to death here, could he be re-united with Azami again?

“Good night, papa. I love you.”

Shion nodded once more, voice quiet as she reached over to give Tsukihiko a delicate hug before sauntering upstairs. She wasn’t going to sleep tonight, but as a good girl she listened and took refuge under the covers to cry herself to sleep.

Azami was gone.

‘Live happily’, she had said.

How were they supposed to live happily without her?

Shion curled into a ball, weakly tearing at her hair and wept silently as her shivering hands refused to do anything but wipe her tears.

Tomorrow, she pledged. Tomorrow she would find a new way to live, together with her father, and they could write their own happy ending. She pledged that when she had a child of her own, she would cherish them with all her being and never let go. She would never leave her child, but she didn't hate her mother for it.

She could never hate her mother; not when Azami already hated herself so much.

Still, Shion couldn’t help but cry herself to exhaustion, just for that night.

Azami was gone.

Tsukihiko waited until there was utter stillness in the house before he shakily stood up and walked outside. Just a little, since his body wouldn’t allow him to venture far. He refused to go further anyway; he needed to be there for Shion now and for every day onwards.

“Why?” 

_I told you, you don't have to suffer alone._

Falling to his knees, he let out a final heart wrenching call of “Azami” – he would never say the name again – and his body shook violently as he sobbed. Heated tears fell from his eyes, and they didn’t stop; he hadn’t ever cried like this even on the verge of death.

It was agonising, and his throat felt constricted. Regardless of his health, the feeling of loss overwhelmed him and he stayed there under the moonlight and cried until he could cry no more.

Azami was gone.

 


End file.
